Capture Your Grief Day 29: Reflect

Dried flower petals from Sophie’s Memorial Service

I questioned whether or not we should participate in Capture Your Grief this year, and looking back I am so thankful that we decided to go forward with it. This blog started as a way to share Sophie’s medical updates with friends and family. Then it turned into a place to ask for prayers that our daughter would survive. It transitioned quickly into a place where we were angry. And sad. And scared. And hopeless. And hopeful. I could go on. Our hope is that this blog has become a resource for families like us. Families trying to find the light during the darkest time of their lives.

Our first year doing Capture Your Grief, the “wound” was still fresh. We had barely scratched the surface of our grief. Last year, we were full of hope because we had our rainbow baby and we were so surrounded by love. This year, we’ve learned a lot about ourselves. As parents, as a husband and wife, as a grieving family. We’ve been welcomed and comforted by so many wonderful people, and people who have been through the same thing as us. 

We’ve become closer to God, and with that, closer to peace.

Who knows what the next year will hold, but what we do know is…

Our relationship with grief is always evolving. 

This is still the beginning of our story.

Capture Your Grief Day 27: Express

 

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart

Cause joy and peace He brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

…

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to You always

– Jeremy Camp –

Capture Your Grief Day 25: Mother Earth

It’s fall here in the Pacific Northwest. Choosing something to plant to give a place for Sophie to grow in this world was difficult, but then we saw this Purple King shrub. It’s perfect. It is perfect for our climate and perfect for Sophie. We have a Pinky Winky Hydrangea and a Pink Lemonade Blueberry plant that were given to us by Sophie’s Aunt and Uncle, but they die off in the fall and don’t come back until the beginning of summer. This perfect shrub will fill that gap. 

We have chosen to plant it in a yellow pot. Something bright and cheery to bring some color to our patio in the fall and winter. While it will not be planted in the earth, it will be planted in honor of Sophie. It will be tended to and allowed to thrive just as we let her spirit thrive in us. 

Capture Your Grief Day 22: Self Care

This is my absolute favorite time of day.

It doesn’t happen every day like it used to.

We get busy.

But for two hours (or sometimes more), 

I get to hold and snuggle my son while he naps.

It’s calming, healing, and lets me reconnect with him 

in the middle of the craziness that each day brings.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.